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kiki_1070

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 5:08am) | Search for a member

kiki_1070

0Fucked!

kiki_1070
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kiki_1070 : I'm me. 98 and 3/4 % guaranteed!

kiki_1070's page activity

Visits<b>ItalianGuy23</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:08pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:59am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:27am<b>holeyman</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 10:41pm<b>orangeguy04</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:17pm<b>Empyree</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Frenchtony</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 8:46pm

kiki_1070's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of kiki_1070's badges

kiki_1070's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

#21443029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (3931)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I turned on the TV, there was a picture of a wanted murderer. The picture looked just like my boyfriend. FML

#21430015
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (2370)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:26am - misc - by 1234 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2044)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (3438)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2239)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

#21247337
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (2857)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53467) - you deserved it (10761)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56139) - you deserved it (5440)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53236) - you deserved it (8264)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55750) - you deserved it (7210)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49573) - you deserved it (8975)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



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