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kidneybeans

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kidneybeans

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 May 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 75
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kidneybeans : BVFSARYUOPKJGDSEGHLLVFD. Yeah.

kidneybeans's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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kidneybeans's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6374) - you deserved it (71509)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (1717)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (8300)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

#20018436
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you deserved it (4808)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22150) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (14349)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (3164)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (4182)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (18896)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (16257)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

#17964830
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (5535)

On 10/12/2011 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ksamp - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (5183)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)



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