Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kidinkbaby

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 3:03pm) | Search for a member

kidinkbaby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1091
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kidinkbaby's page activity

Visits<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:35pm<b>MasonDude</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:56am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:42pm<b>DKBR</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:46am<b>yamzie47</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:51am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 9:42pm<b>jaws51</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:53am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 6:26pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:02am<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:09am<b>nerfballer</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 6:15pm<b>tomwantssnow</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:41pm<b>brdhntr31</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:39pm<b>kAmiLsaBiT12</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:09am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 9:31am<b>DeviOomaki</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:23pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:55am

kidinkbaby's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kidinkbaby's badges

kidinkbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (5878)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39831) - you deserved it (5644)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (43235)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (3941)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (14993)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (4209)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (13298)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (6044)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (33679)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14836) - you deserved it (69998)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (7783)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: