Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kickuwithmyfist

Search for a member

kickuwithmyfist

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 March 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1230
  • Number of comments : 131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kickuwithmyfist : HEY!

kickuwithmyfist's page activity

Visits<b>assurant</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:45am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:58am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:23pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:54am<b>ThatOneGuyKy</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:58am<b>odod777</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:32am<b>ethan043</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:12am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:47am<b>Fausty29</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:07pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:22am<b>tacocat_tacocat</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:09am<b>RoamingHobo</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 4:25am<b>BlackCat5</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:02pm<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:21am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:33am<b>choopah</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 10:57am<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 1:51am<b>deathlumpzx3</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:44pm

kickuwithmyfist's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

kickuwithmyfist's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (4951) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15365) - you deserved it (27817)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
278 comments

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (3438)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

#18090204
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/27/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by omgomgomg (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11945) - you deserved it (41283)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (39259)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (44344)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (15885)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (12951)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9170) - you deserved it (34686)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

#6840673
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (25106)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by StayedHome89 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20701) - you deserved it (4478)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (3213)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (38181)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: