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About kiakia0131 : Hello! I'm Caitlin. I like bacon, pizza, Pokémon, Skyrim, Mario, animals, and Cards Against Humanity. I try to have decent spelling and grammar but that wasn't my best subject in school. Also, auto correct happens. I forget to check my messages so I apologize if you message me and I don't reply. That's pretty much it. Also, I support volunteer firefighters.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Friday 19 December 2014