Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kiakia0131

Online | Search for a member

kiakia0131

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4449
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About kiakia0131 : Hello! I'm Caitlin. I like bacon, pizza, Pokémon, Skyrim, Mario, animals, and Cards Against Humanity. I try to have decent spelling and grammar but that wasn't my best subject in school. Also, auto correct happens. I forget to check my messages so I apologize if you message me and I don't reply. That's pretty much it. Also, I support volunteer firefighters.

kiakia0131's page activity

Visits<b>shain1988</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 1:58am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>AsharKhan</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:33am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:02am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:40pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:53pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:57am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:45am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:04am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:54pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:36am<b>Hawk3278</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:47am<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:54pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:18pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:06am

Fucked!<b>shain1988</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:58am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:40pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:04pm

kiakia0131's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of kiakia0131's badges

kiakia0131's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (36822)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14115) - you deserved it (26172)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (3460)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (25269)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

#19775429
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6477) - you deserved it (27734)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13546) - you deserved it (44149)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

#19712062
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (6567)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (11264)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

#19557146
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (25765)

On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (4464)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (6152)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12509) - you deserved it (21706)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24286) - you deserved it (12801)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: