Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaoticpanda

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 5:58am) | Search for a member

khaoticpanda

1Liked!

khaoticpanda
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2777
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16. Spoonie.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat

khaoticpanda's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterbee</b> - yesterday at 12:35am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:29am<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:22pm<b>duncanp4132</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:59am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:13pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:03am<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:14pm<b>matt300</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:44am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:34am<b>lb562</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:49pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Vichy</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:36am<b>Sedgefrost</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:55am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:43am

khaoticpanda's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57403) - you deserved it (7983)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (55700)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

#21129797
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46390) - you deserved it (7312)

On 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm - health - by ughhhh - United States

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (3548)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43917) - you deserved it (6212)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (6662)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65184) - you deserved it (32619)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38936) - you deserved it (5734)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (5608)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41274) - you deserved it (4073)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41512) - you deserved it (3584)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (3846)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

#21005375
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (2888)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (13099)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: