Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

khaoticpanda

Search for a member

khaoticpanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2202
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About khaoticpanda : Hi. Danish. 16. Spoonie.
Eat / Sleep / JROTC / Repeat

khaoticpanda's page activity

Visits<b>Slaught000</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Internetdude</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:20am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:07am<b>whocares464</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:26pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:40am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 6:37pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:50pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:16pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:14pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:43am<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:37pm<b>scarman</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:39pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:04pm<b>zbursach</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:49pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:04pm

khaoticpanda's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of khaoticpanda's badges

khaoticpanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53713) - you deserved it (7129)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (54370)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

#21129797
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45396) - you deserved it (6534)

On 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm - health - by ughhhh - United States

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43831) - you deserved it (3086)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41811) - you deserved it (5073)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (5957)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63227) - you deserved it (30812)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (5531)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (5112)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (3695)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (3480)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33673) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

#21005375
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33669) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (2490)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (12910)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: