About kg163401 : I'm probably going to piss you off on FML
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (16849)
On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59840) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (10178)
On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (49770)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3698)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49158) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (2820)
On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States
Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16669) - you deserved it (6391)
On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (7586)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (166632) - you deserved it (6641)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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