kezziemonster

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kezziemonster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1410
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kezziemonster's page activity

Visits<b>Evarakeus</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 3:31pm<b>moldypeaches</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:59am<b>FimogenFeels</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:57pm<b>ammber19</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:08pm<b>effiestonem154</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:59pm<b>taylor21897</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:54pm<b>jackson38</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:56am

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50 favourites

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kezziemonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

by TheRawrza / 04/26/2009 at 5:47am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

by whatashame / 04/01/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

by lauren / 03/30/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

by alejita / 03/02/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

by Offended / 02/19/2009 at 2:09am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

by cockblockingbitch / 01/25/2009 at 12:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy