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kezziemonster

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kezziemonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 600
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kezziemonster's page activity

Visits<b>Evarakeus</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 3:31pm<b>moldypeaches</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:59am<b>FimogenFeels</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:57pm<b>ammber19</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:08pm<b>effiestonem154</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:59pm<b>taylor21897</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:54pm<b>jackson38</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:56am

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50 favourites

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kezziemonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (27433)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35446) - you deserved it (3887)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19348) - you deserved it (44680)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121775) - you deserved it (6307)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16406) - you deserved it (75196)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11303) - you deserved it (56211)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41484) - you deserved it (26704)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12946) - you deserved it (60409)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63029) - you deserved it (26288)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70810) - you deserved it (4955)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59962) - you deserved it (3529)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (42853)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77847) - you deserved it (3558)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)



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