[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

keylimepieee

Search for a member

keylimepieee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11973
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About keylimepieee : smoke pot

keylimepieee's last visitors

FreezesmilliganThe_Norwegiandnttrustpancak3hopieeHummingBirdsFlyEggsBenedictlittlehowlBojana

keylimepieee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

keylimepieee's favorite FMLs

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (17491)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (87893)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (41925) - you deserved it (14833)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (85929) - you deserved it (2998)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (15339) - you deserved it (50727)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668 (487)

I agree, your life sucks (69255) - you deserved it (3697)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiance of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (46623) - you deserved it (2072)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

#2563326 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (9651)

On 06/03/2009 at 11:16am - kids - by rollerSWEETness (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (8877) - you deserved it (29947)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (51824) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (15832)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (46275)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (46083)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML

#2495285 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/01/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Boarder - United States (New Jersey)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (34435)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)