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keylimeandlemons

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keylimeandlemons

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 328
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About keylimeandlemons : Just a girl trying to find her way in this god forsaken place
Florida ☀️
Max

keylimeandlemons's page activity

Visits<b>jack123456789</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:39am<b>sk3p71k</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:26am<b>Ambient25</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:12am

keylimeandlemons's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of keylimeandlemons's badges

keylimeandlemons's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45400) - you deserved it (3064)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (4549)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (8061)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (3148)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (12883)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35776) - you deserved it (5012)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67427) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (18422)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (5786)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44152) - you deserved it (5390)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39504) - you deserved it (11174)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39049) - you deserved it (6212)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (7956)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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