keyface5

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keyface5

8Fucked!

keyface5
  • Town/Country : San Antonio, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 August 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4772
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About keyface5 : Freshman in college, majoring in cyber security. I love computers and have a cat named orca.

keyface5's page activity

Visits<b>skye147</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 11:00am<b>anak36</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 8:53pm<b>2simz</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:50pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 2:03am<b>Therid</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 4:28pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:59pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:37pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:30pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:57am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:54am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:06pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:05am<b>attaboyyy11</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:35pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>KinkyMissBinky</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:27am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>Therid</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:28pm<b>anak36</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 7:07am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:49am<b>skye147</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:45am<b>KaneHunter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>sayakabeats</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:29pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:16pm

keyface5's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of keyface5's badges

keyface5's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

by BejeweledJizz / 11/05/2016 at 8:29am / Intimacy

Today, I work as an assistant to a sculptor. We finished all our projects early so his wife decided to have me clean their kitchen. I wasn't paying attention and picked up a dead mouse. I screamed and threw it away as hard as I could. It hit their five-year-old son in the face. FML

by mouseart / 11/03/2016 at 10:51am / Work

Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2016 at 2:25am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

by marenthehollow / 10/30/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, an old man, while I was working, asked me to spell average-length words. Confused, I refused. Turns out I was apparently taking too long counting the large amount of small change he'd given to me, and he assumed I couldn't count or spell. I study law, and I've learned basic calculus. Welcome to retail. FML

by NoOrdinaryNZer / 10/30/2016 at 7:09am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML

by Myorafield / 10/26/2016 at 2:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

by bandeek / 10/23/2016 at 2:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

by Fffhjno / 09/28/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "unlike my boyfriend." FML

by nicetoknow / 09/26/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message half way through completion saying the deal was off because "my prices were so low it seemed like a scam". FML

by JPlays / 09/12/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while flying home, two little girls started chanting, "We're all going to die." I'm an extremely anxious flyer. FML

by MDoremis / 08/28/2016 at 3:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation

Today, during an important meeting, I forgot the name for West Virginia and described it as, "Virginia a bit to the left". FML

by Torvaltz / 08/07/2016 at 4:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 4:32pm / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

by Anonameow / 07/19/2016 at 9:49am / Animals