About keyface5 : I'm a senior in high school and play oboe and synthesizer. I love music in general. I love cute things :3
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keyface5's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML
by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/16/2016 at 12:48am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by chickenshit4 / 05/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2016 at 2:20am / Australia / Work
by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by OhDearGodGrandad / 02/07/2016 at 12:59pm / United Kingdom (Redbridge) / Intimacy
by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 6:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…