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kewpiesuicide

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kewpiesuicide

32Fucked!

kewpiesuicidekewpiesuicide
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1374
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About kewpiesuicide : Hippie lesbian with wanderlust

kewpiesuicide's page activity

Visits<b>jewstooge</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Dowbo</b> - 23 hours ago<b>NoName011</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:20pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:59am<b>bchin1220</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:07pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:36pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:31am<b>swharley</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:38am<b>Furby94</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>zingline89</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:28am<b>MeAnd</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:57am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:08am<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:05am<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:35pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:33pm<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>qsni</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:32pm<b>CrossEyedSniper1</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:52pm

Fucked!<b>Dowbo</b> - 17 hours ago<b>sandman676</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:34am<b>CrossEyedSniper1</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:52am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:50pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Toller017</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:48pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Zeuszara</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 6:46am<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:49am<b>swanheart</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:54pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>DaltonHaze</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 4:37am<b>jayeatsPizza</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:05am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:26am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:10pm

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kewpiesuicide's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (4479)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (3693)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (4740)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

#21419928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (3715)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33920) - you deserved it (5486)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36441) - you deserved it (5260)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (9434) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (27797)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (6150)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (5638)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (6697)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49047) - you deserved it (4989)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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