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Offline (the 05/16/2016 at 1:34pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2102
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About kewpiesuicide : Hippie lesbian with wanderlust

kewpiesuicide's page activity

Visits<b>raven83</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 7:37am<b>weedle99</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 11:20am<b>samoo1</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 12:07am<b>black_day</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:40pm<b>19teej96</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:36pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 7:14pm<b>supertrampk</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 6:02pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 1:01am<b>nela25</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 6:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 10:52pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:28pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:13am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:14pm<b>classicate</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 3:15pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 6:15am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:40pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:52am

Fucked!<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:31pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 3:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:58pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 2:55pm<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:58pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:21pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:54am<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:40pm<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 9:40pm<b>_ely_foster_</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:53pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 2:33pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:55am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:48am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:55am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 2:39am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:01pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:00pm

kewpiesuicide's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of kewpiesuicide's badges

kewpiesuicide's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

by ChaosFerret / 05/03/2016 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML

by BroadcitySF / 02/27/2016 at 10:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

by MyLegsHurt / 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

by philosophicallll / 09/28/2015 at 4:25pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

by Hooty / 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

by alekoi / 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy