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kewlkali

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kewlkali

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 35 posted

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (7395)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (5390)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (14596)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (38279)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (7452)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (85585)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20568) - you deserved it (4463)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (2881)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (4259)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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