Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kewlkali

Online | Search for a member

kewlkali

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1479
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 43 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kewlkali's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of kewlkali's badges

kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33512) - you deserved it (7201)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44013) - you deserved it (6456)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55058) - you deserved it (8554)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

#16416160
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (16094)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:59am - health - by skigal24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (6949)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (54830)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (13926)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38486) - you deserved it (5451)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (27087)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (8117)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27567) - you deserved it (5805)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (15441)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: