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kewlkali

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kewlkali

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  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 515
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 34 posted

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kewlkali's favorite FMLs

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15753) - you deserved it (29101)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed a man in my neighborhood waving at me. I don't talk to him often so I excitedly waved back. Turns out he was trying to warn me of the car about to hit me. FML

#18878562
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (3912)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29482) - you deserved it (23404)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9981) - you deserved it (180860)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (6895)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54869) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (5540)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (94628) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

#17565538
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17617) - you deserved it (14421)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54163) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (14048)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34536) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)



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