kewl92

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kewl92

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4697
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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kewl92's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:18pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:07am<b>jerms2424</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:43am<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:51pm<b>lulubaba</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 2:22am<b>Mayster101</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:09am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 2:09am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:35pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:49pm<b>Nylecroc</b> - the 05/12/2010 at 4:00am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 2:43pm<b>netfreak</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 12:39pm<b>HEARtBREAkKIDDxl</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 10:13pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 5:02pm<b>porcupunk</b> - the 08/06/2009 at 4:07pm<b>bmqcoltsfan</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 10:01pm<b>MessyPaint</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 12:12pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 1:03pm

kewl92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kewl92's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2009 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

by sarahh38 / 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

by iceman123432 / 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

by minnie / 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm / United States / Health

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

by offendedfemme / 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

by iltdtsm / 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

by foojew93 / 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money