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kevtheloser

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kevtheloser

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kevtheloser's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64193) - you deserved it (6706)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12637) - you deserved it (57878)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (54617)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (38906)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (3876)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (9639)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you deserved it (3923)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (14835)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

#12760106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (3234)

On 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

#12694516
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (20862)

On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

#12679955
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45997) - you deserved it (5762)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32339) - you deserved it (16528)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (3072)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

#12002440
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (3491)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11898) - you deserved it (41461)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)



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