Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kevint9911

Search for a member

kevint9911

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3057
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kevint9911's page activity

Visits<b>nathancarter</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:22am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:13pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:00pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:44pm<b>EdaPanda</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:17am<b>RedTailBoa</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 4:06pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:48pm<b>sydneytaylor2516</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 1:47pm<b>ladyleo88</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 12:48pm<b>PlasticSand</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 10:38pm

kevint9911's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of kevint9911's badges

kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (3456)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13674) - you deserved it (29123)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (7059)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (16404)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (10365)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (19102)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (6791)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (8477)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49880) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25580) - you deserved it (7784)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (5406)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (4232)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (5697)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that I have the balls to base jump and skydive, but I still can't ask out the hot girl working at the pub. FML

#17620224
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (7676)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: