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kevint9911

Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

kevint9911

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3518
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (55104)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (8005)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8944) - you deserved it (33651)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

#18622040
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (9347)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:11am - intimacy - by ikungfuyou (man) - United States

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

#18604012
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/25/2011 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (4646)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (67248)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (9996)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35552) - you deserved it (6051)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (9437)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (2131)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44656) - you deserved it (3467)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)



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