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kevint9911

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kevint9911

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3155
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (4554)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9881) - you deserved it (67099)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28546) - you deserved it (9986)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (6001)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (9430)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (2127)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (3670)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (3461)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13800) - you deserved it (29294)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (7064)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

#18170655
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (16410)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (10370)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41375) - you deserved it (19112)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (6792)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41692) - you deserved it (8483)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)



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