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kevint9911

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kevint9911
  • Town/Country : OP, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2630
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kevint9911's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (4192)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (34333)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44680) - you deserved it (24291)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16215) - you deserved it (86930)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46402) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39982) - you deserved it (3586)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (15287)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8949) - you deserved it (86834)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car ran out of gas. I was 20 feet away from the gas pump and the only person I could ask for help was the attendant, who'd asked me out a week ago. I'd said no, and so did he. FML

#16249846
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (13701)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:46am - misc - by stranded (woman) - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35553) - you deserved it (9883)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (58367)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

#16141236
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (49299)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -

Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML

#16113855
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (9218)

On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -



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