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kevin_hart

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kevin_hart

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  • Number of visits : 45
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kevin_hart's page activity

Visits<b>duckhunter2787</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:03pm

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kevin_hart's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (6485)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (12483)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87566) - you deserved it (14636)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (71039)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119348) - you deserved it (73939)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

#632054
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120395) - you deserved it (8971)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

#553783
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98413) - you deserved it (10316)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85908) - you deserved it (18736)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232557) - you deserved it (81231)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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