Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

keven501

Search for a member

keven501
  • Town/Country : saint cloud Minnesota, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About keven501 : I like reading FML's distracts me from my own
I love playing Xbox
Gamertag kevinpk501
I play mostly halo battlefield and skyrim
Add me if you want
Tell me your from fml
Love skyrim best person is a level 80
Feel free to message don't expect a quick response

keven501's last visitors

NarttuAwesome5842259982681PrincessCastielgrievousgirlMr_BleepdabloopLtBoomCobaltRaccoonMxAxRxCxOThePikachuHood

keven501's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of keven501's badges

keven501's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (5778)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (27039)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12665) - you deserved it (24600)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18842) - you deserved it (31870)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (2907)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (4699)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: