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keven501

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keven501
  • Town/Country : saint cloud Minnesota, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1694
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About keven501 : I like reading FML's distracts me from my own
I love playing Xbox
Gamertag kevinpk501
I play mostly halo battlefield and skyrim
Add me if you want
Tell me your from fml
Love skyrim best person is a level 80
Feel free to message don't expect a quick response

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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keven501's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (8930)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

#16076552
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (9056)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by lawl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (36739)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (4978)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50154) - you deserved it (4841)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (6173)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (34915)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41784) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39778) - you deserved it (27803)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15935) - you deserved it (77901)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (41446)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

#15025129
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (37761)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:33am - work - by Username -

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (46494)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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