About keven501 : I like reading FML's distracts me from my own
I love playing Xbox
Gamertag kevinpk501
I play mostly halo battlefield and skyrim
Add me if you want
Tell me your from fml
Love skyrim best person is a level 80
Feel free to message don't expect a quick response
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (9195)
On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (7798)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12543) - you deserved it (22881)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9514) - you deserved it (49795)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (11757)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (7152)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24817) - you deserved it (79156)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (7585)
On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (7734)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (2399)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (9082)
On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (9853)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13522) - you deserved it (58376)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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