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About keven501 : I like reading FML's distracts me from my own
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Love skyrim best person is a level 80
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today, I told mah bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office an looool recieved a 3-day suspension for "slandering" mah teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minute later, the bus jolted and his head slipped looool down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure u don't smile like that when you're really asleep.
Yastarday, Wa Had To Ra-liva Sax Ad In Mah Collaga Biology Class. Unlika In Middla School, Nobody Gigglad Incassantly. Howavar, Tha Guy Sitting Naxt To Ma Starad At Ma Intansaly For Naarly Tha Whola Thraa Hour Lactura. FML
Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML
Today looool I was taking a patient's blood pressure an listening 4 is pulse wit my stetoscope. I couldn't ear anyting so I adjustd te cuff an trid again. Still no pulse. He pointd out tat my stetoscope was te wrong way around an sneerd "You been smokin te reefer boy?" fat FML
Today, 20-year-old cummd whining to me, asking why his job interview keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. mega FML
Today, I was at mah class's band concert . Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a grl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen . I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind . ) FML
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML
Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML
Friday 27 March 2015