ketchuplover

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ketchuplover

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 913
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ketchuplover's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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ketchuplover's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

by Cslouth / 10/27/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

by hopelesscollegestudent / 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

by msnewyearseve / 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML

by notsurprised / 08/01/2011 at 8:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

by Hahapasdroleleptit / 05/10/2011 at 10:56am / France / Kids