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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (2624)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:44am - money - by LCDhell (woman) - United States
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (3214)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17996) - you deserved it (59675)
On 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm - misc - by honeybadger123 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12496) - you deserved it (39337)
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (4281)
On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)
Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (2107)
On 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (5081)
On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (1667)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (3042)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (79170)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (5501)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (3033)
On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (5080)
On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (16842)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (1758)
On 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm - misc - by deviable - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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