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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19227) - you deserved it (8035)
On 12/14/2011 at 3:49am - animals - by frostedmist (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (20458)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (6393)
On 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by myjobsucks - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2362)
On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (1628)
On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30653) - you deserved it (2571)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (2004)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18420) - you deserved it (2860)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66088)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (25105)
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (3237)
On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (1924)
On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (2957)
On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (15685)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:29am - work - by JB - United States
Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (8352)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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