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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Thursday 10 April 2014