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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67212) - you deserved it (8735)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67212) - you deserved it (8735)
On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47558) - you deserved it (11621)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (4030)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48335) - you deserved it (2770)
On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (17164)
On 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by cupcakechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (3437)
On 06/04/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by BloodyMarry (woman) - United States
Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35225) - you deserved it (9337)
On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (58318)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37506) - you deserved it (2876)
On 06/04/2013 at 2:47am - health - by samaram (woman) - United States
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (2852)
On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70307) - you deserved it (2671)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43500) - you deserved it (12688)
On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43117) - you deserved it (4378)
On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (2915)
On 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm - kids - by I keep failing it all (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)
Monday 17 June 2013
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