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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (14857)
On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3428)
On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (8003)
On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (2551)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (5457)
On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (2456)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)
Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (2061)
On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57594) - you deserved it (1857)
Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (3807)
On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (2498)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (5300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (1968)
On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (4229)
On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (3887)
On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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