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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62079) - you deserved it (5226)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (8841)
On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86128) - you deserved it (3208)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (3068)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States
Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (8006)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (43722)
On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42750) - you deserved it (3561)
On 04/14/2013 at 10:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62155) - you deserved it (2563)
On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (3114)
On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (3165)
On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (6460)
On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (28698)
On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (9511)
On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (12182)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (16743) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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