Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kerr96

Search for a member

kerr96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kerr96's page activity

Visits<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:38pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:55am<b>GetIt23</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:32pm<b>blade9502</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:58am<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:57pm<b>makersmarkmike</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:32pm

kerr96's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

kerr96's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (13325)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56172) - you deserved it (4773)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66268) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (7195)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52958) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (3728)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (4614)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (3366)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (45257)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9116) - you deserved it (21065)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

#18196154
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

#17459271
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (4472)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (51592)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12997) - you deserved it (56137)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: