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kenzief

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kenzief

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 February 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 159
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kenzief : I'm Kenzie.(: Nothing special, really, but a 16 year old girl who loves FML.

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kenzief's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49859) - you deserved it (7055)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60530) - you deserved it (20224)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (4046)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (3849)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12411) - you deserved it (52738)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40739) - you deserved it (3866)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57256) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (3530)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

#19393647
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (1997)

On 04/02/2012 at 4:38am - work - by minimum wage (man) - Canada

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (5014)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (5629)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35956) - you deserved it (9402)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States



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