About kenzief : I'm Kenzie.(: Nothing special, really, but a 16 year old girl who loves FML.
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kenzief's favorite FMLs
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML
by ProudMother / 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Kids
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
by confusedbutloved / 07/08/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by minimum wage / 04/02/2012 at 4:38am / Canada / Work
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot.… Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been… Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a…