kenzie101

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kenzie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1800
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!

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kenzie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

by socially awkward / 03/10/2012 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

by best friend! / 03/10/2012 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

by mikey51 / 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm / Australia / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

by eeelise5296 / 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

by Username / 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

by anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Love

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

by unknown / 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

by alex / 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

by soawkward / 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous