About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!
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kenzie101's favorite FMLs
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation
by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health
by bowser_rawr16 / 03/12/2012 at 4:12pm / Canada / Money
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
by dumbfriend / 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while DJing at a jumpin' wedding reception, my speaker system conked out. I hadn't brought any backup equipment, and 500 guests had the unfortunate luxury of dancing to the sounds of a portable CD player someone brought in from their car. FML
by Joey / 03/11/2012 at 1:51am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by The Last One / 03/11/2012 at 1:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Jimii Liu / 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by atsukobo / 03/10/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…