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kenzie101

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kenzie101

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1001
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!

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kenzie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7738) - you deserved it (32833)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (2508)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (53406)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

#19277494
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (5987)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
204 comments

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7035) - you deserved it (33288)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (4092)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while DJing at a jumpin' wedding reception, my speaker system conked out. I hadn't brought any backup equipment, and 500 guests had the unfortunate luxury of dancing to the sounds of a portable CD player someone brought in from their car. FML

#19255485
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8596) - you deserved it (25539)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Joey - Canada

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (1840)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (146951)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (2948)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22315) - you deserved it (4289)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States



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