About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!
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kenzie101's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy
by imamomma / 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm / United States / Kids
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Work
Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
by lollipopgreen / 10/01/2011 at 8:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ouch. / 09/25/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Sally / 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money
by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
by Mothering / 07/11/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by Lifeless / 06/01/2011 at 3:39am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
- Today, it's only my second week of work at my new job as a housekeeper for an assisted living home.… Today, i bought two $2 scratch off lotto tickets for my friend and i, he won $500 i won nothing. FML Today I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…