kenzie101

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kenzie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1960
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!

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kenzie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

by imamomma / 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm / United States / Kids

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

by kdeeeceee / 11/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States / Love

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Work

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

by lollipopgreen / 10/01/2011 at 8:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

by ouch. / 09/25/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

by Sally / 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

by Mothering / 07/11/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

by Lifeless / 06/01/2011 at 3:39am / United States (Oregon) / Animals