kenzie101

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kenzie101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1544
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kenzie101 : I love reading this stuff. I get on everyday so swap down a message when you come by. See yal around!

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kenzie101's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

by fuckbucket14 / 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm / Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

by logkitty / 04/10/2012 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

by Madeline Lee / 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm / France (Aquitaine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

by missclitter / 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

by Ew. / 04/09/2012 at 11:22am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

by zazzleface / 04/09/2012 at 8:23am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

by stupidbug. / 04/09/2012 at 4:28am / Canada / Animals

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

by Stinky. / 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

by dcort / 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous