About kenyalovesarah : Created an account out of boredom, but i love fml. I love alice in wonderland, hemp bracelets, waterskiing, saw movies, board games, cuddling, african safaris, scuba diving, psychology, and outdoor adventures. Message me if you want, were both bored anyways.p.s I dont have a kik or any of those other social networks so please dont ask. thanks.
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kenyalovesarah's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML
by SchoolFMLs / 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 3:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML
by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…