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kennagirl

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kennagirl

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  • Number of visits : 1060
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kennagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

#966789
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (87847)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146875) - you deserved it (9241)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61826) - you deserved it (11346)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (90423)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67277) - you deserved it (4728)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (73561)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37948) - you deserved it (85943)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95044) - you deserved it (41741)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80665) - you deserved it (13164)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74636) - you deserved it (40975)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text telling me to turn the radio on to a certain station. When I did, there was a talk show on, and the host was ranting about how important it is for women to control themselves and not be emotional. My boyfriend continued texting me, asking if I was listening. FML

#776706
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52058) - you deserved it (13509)

On 04/03/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

#773516
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53358) - you deserved it (9693)

On 04/02/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by dramateach11 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236250) - you deserved it (24570)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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