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kenjenkei

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kenjenkei

6Liked!

kenjenkeikenjenkei
  • Town/Country : Canberra, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1461
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

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kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38412) - you deserved it (10827)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (5147)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43411) - you deserved it (27691)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35757) - you deserved it (10058)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (5139)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47819) - you deserved it (6596)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47202) - you deserved it (6757)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (45002)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (16221)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (12177)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (3519)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you deserved it (55042)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48725) - you deserved it (17741)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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