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kenjenkei

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kenjenkei

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About kenjenkei : Eh.

kenjenkei's page activity

Visits<b>pratikp03</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - yesterday at 6:12pm<b>frostythecrowman</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:20pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:17pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:06am<b>brettrb</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:41am<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:30am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:01am<b>Sinlessgore</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:34am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 3:08am<b>colerean</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:52am<b>Fernando83</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 11:59pm<b>jjjoey4</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:43am<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:35am<b>fk18</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 6:14pm

kenjenkei's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of kenjenkei's badges

kenjenkei's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (6392)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (6167)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (44778)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (11834)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39227) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (54753)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (17065)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48097) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41020) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (5218)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)



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