About ken29 : I'm just your average, everyday Pokémon Master. Moustaches are cool.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (2119)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15971) - you deserved it (6146)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15971) - you deserved it (6146)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15971) - you deserved it (6146)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (3286)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (6199)
On 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm - money - by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY (woman) - United States
Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (4084)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6787) - you deserved it (99596)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26991) - you deserved it (1252)
On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28537) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (20571)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 20 May 2013
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