About ken29 : I'm just your average, everyday Pokémon Master. Moustaches are cool.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (87711)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56393) - you deserved it (5094)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was driving on the highway and a cop had his radar gun out. The woman in front of me panics and slams her brakes on, causing me to rear end her. The cop cited me for "tailgating" and I have to pay for the damages on both of our cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (15042)
On 05/27/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by A.K. (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50910) - you deserved it (14386)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48820) - you deserved it (2887)
On 05/26/2009 at 5:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (20302)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:14am - work - by kandykrazed17 (woman) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (56162) - you deserved it (2620)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was flying back home from college with my Mom. At the airport, the ticket agent tells us she only has one ticket listed for Margaret. My mom and I have the same name. American Airlines thought a Margaret had bought two tickets by mistake, so they cancelled one of the transactions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55276) - you deserved it (2953)
On 05/19/2009 at 11:50am - misc - by Margaret (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12424) - you deserved it (67118)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was to late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61757) - you deserved it (2685)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (37173)
On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (59277)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18146) - you deserved it (85395)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (49646)
On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55560) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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