About ken29 : I'm just your average, everyday Pokémon Master. Moustaches are cool.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (20363)
On 11/28/2011 at 1:30am - health - by MB - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (1372)
On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5624) - you deserved it (27131)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56556) - you deserved it (2318)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17972) - you deserved it (2647)
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (1705)
On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38593) - you deserved it (6349)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (2108)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24118) - you deserved it (4836)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (1940)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)
Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (6930)
On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (3320)
On 11/23/2011 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Julie - United States (California)
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (8149)
On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -
Monday 20 May 2013
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