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kelseythompson

Offline (the 10/11/2014 at 6:44pm) | Search for a member

kelseythompson

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kelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:34pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:27pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:21pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:04am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:45pm<b>PROEMG</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 5:42am<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:28pm<b>Roulios</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:09am<b>larson15</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 9:00pm<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 10:30pm<b>Pwn17</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 2:13pm<b>Kenneth91</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:14am

kelseythompson's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (7265)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (5179)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38299) - you deserved it (2671)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (11625)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (9742)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48302) - you deserved it (14408)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50880) - you deserved it (6561)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (43119)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (50353)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57429) - you deserved it (10875)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37985) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48632) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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