Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kelseythompson

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 4:33am) | Search for a member

kelseythompson

0Liked!

kelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:58am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:30am<b>katemilli</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 12:47pm<b>feelingyourpain</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:52pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:15pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:59am<b>ThePiGuy</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:54pm<b>emotionalhentai</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:08am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:24am<b>PleaseTickleMe</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:42pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:53pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:24am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:49am<b>alyssacornett</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:16am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:57pm<b>LOUNGE_LIZARD</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:55am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:35pm

kelseythompson's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today , It's Mah Wedding Day. I Have A Cold Sore That Makes Me Look Lyk The Joker. Make-up Won't Cover It And The Emergency Medicine Mah Doctor Gave Me Only Rritates It More. My Future Husband Asks , "Why So Serious?" And Laughs Whenever He Sees Me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43053) - you deserved it (3634)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers fir Glee did not write ( Bohemian Rhapsody ) an that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them!! We're both 17 yeres old, an she reacted by kicking a chair at me!! FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I briefly left mah laptop while I went to use the toilet . When I cummd back, I found "I" had postd on Facebook, calling mah mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was mah grandpa . She didn't believe it, and permanently groundd me . FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (5407)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show mah dad a picture on mah phone, mah boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but u can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65986) - you deserved it (12674)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm!! He smirkd and startd talking like Yoda, saying, ( Strong with the cum, this one is )!! Orgasm gone!!

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51393) - you deserved it (8254)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

yesterday while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctor and nurse would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (3289)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today... I was at Universityhen a giant mascot started walking in mah direction. As they walked past... theyhispered mah name seductively. I still don't knowho it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be mah doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shovd it deep into mah ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39776) - you deserved it (3535)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told mah bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office an looool recieved a 3-day suspension for "slandering" mah teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (6018)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minute later, the bus jolted and his head slipped looool down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure u don't smile like that when you're really asleep.

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (6749)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (31126)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart . I grabbed te XL size, and te casier commented, "A, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (14134)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

yesterday I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5960)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: