kelseythompson

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 9:23pm)

kelseythompson

24Fucked!

kelseythompsonkelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2437
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 1:02am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:01pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:56am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:06am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:19pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 12:37am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:17am<b>MindGames</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:48pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:11pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:50am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 1:03pm<b>tylanolisgrosd</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 10:20pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 2:16pm<b>Knight0001</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:20am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:15pm<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 1:59pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:09am<b>BurlesonWrath</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:06am

Fucked!<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:10am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:55am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:49am<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06am<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:59pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:27pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:47am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:41am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:57am<b>koganti</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:52am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 8:59pm

kelseythompson's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm / United States / Work

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

by sharibaby / 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

by nickcedola40 / 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love