kelseythompson

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 9:23pm)

kelseythompson

25Fucked!

kelseythompsonkelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2868
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 12:41pm<b>prout92340</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:15am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:37pm<b>smittywt</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:48am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:57pm<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:25am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 6:28pm<b>WhoDatHiThere</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 11:50am<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 4:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:01pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:56am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:06am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:19pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 12:37am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:17am<b>MindGames</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:48pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:11pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:50am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:28am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:10am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:55am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:49am<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06am<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:59pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:27pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:47am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:41am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:57am<b>koganti</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:52am

kelseythompson's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

by Married2handsome / 06/16/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm / Isle of Man / Kids

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

by i'm not psychic, mother fucker / 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

by no boobies / 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

by stupid / 05/27/2013 at 7:16am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Transportation

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals