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kelseythompson

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 6:14am) | Search for a member

kelseythompson

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kelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 463
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:24am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:49am<b>alyssacornett</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:16am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:57pm<b>LOUNGE_LIZARD</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:55am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:35pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:49am<b>Airplane7721</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:07pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:34pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:27pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:21pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:04am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:08pm

kelseythompson's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62406) - you deserved it (22217)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59581) - you deserved it (21014)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51281) - you deserved it (4233)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46874) - you deserved it (13201)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (49213)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (3420)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63049) - you deserved it (3646)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58886) - you deserved it (10856)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (8846)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38438) - you deserved it (3623)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (4460)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79523) - you deserved it (7238)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49278) - you deserved it (6462)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML



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