kelseythompson

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Offline (the 04/24/2016 at 9:23pm)

kelseythompson

25Fucked!

kelseythompsonkelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2873
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 12:41pm<b>prout92340</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:15am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:37pm<b>smittywt</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 8:48am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:57pm<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:25am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 6:28pm<b>WhoDatHiThere</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 11:50am<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 4:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:01pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:56am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 1:06am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:19pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 12:37am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:17am<b>MindGames</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 3:48pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:11pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:50am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:28am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:10am<b>mlove2291</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:55am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:49am<b>kingleo910</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06am<b>LaceysBabe</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:59pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:26pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:16am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:27pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:19pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:47am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:41am<b>coortaknee</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:50am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:57am<b>koganti</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:52am

kelseythompson's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" / 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Love

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

by kaynotentirelywrong / 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

by Bug8Frog / 07/30/2013 at 2:42am / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy