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kelseythompson

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 6:14am) | Search for a member

kelseythompson

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kelseythompson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About kelseythompson :

kelseythompson's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - yesterday at 6:24am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:49am<b>alyssacornett</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:16am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:57pm<b>LOUNGE_LIZARD</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:55am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:35pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:49am<b>Airplane7721</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:07pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:49pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:34pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:27pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 12:32am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>flufee2</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:18pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 6:21pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:04am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:08pm

kelseythompson's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of kelseythompson's badges

kelseythompson's favorite FMLs

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (10209)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (53970)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62212) - you deserved it (4052)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (39078)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54745) - you deserved it (5096)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (7297)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50536) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57181) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45545) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (3938)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (6384)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52496) - you deserved it (6332)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (11375)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (39211)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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