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kelserah

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kelserah

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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kelserah's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:36pm<b>ethanbin</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:30pm<b>SaxophoneHero</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:49pm<b>MWidderAUDI</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 12:09am<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 11:40am<b>FueledByFate</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 4:18am<b>Anitlifegrand</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:35pm

kelserah's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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kelserah's favorite FMLs

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

#2268591
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17467) - you deserved it (48584)

On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (87384)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52653) - you deserved it (10895)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82161) - you deserved it (4483)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55358) - you deserved it (11126)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57231) - you deserved it (19936)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54957) - you deserved it (3221)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94829) - you deserved it (38868)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162329) - you deserved it (8263)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

#722457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81827) - you deserved it (7955)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

#697390
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63910) - you deserved it (4006)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

#417128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (83735)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by sandy (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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