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kelserah

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kelserah

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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kelserah's page activity

Visits<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:28pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 7:36pm<b>ethanbin</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 6:30pm<b>SaxophoneHero</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:49pm<b>MWidderAUDI</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 12:09am<b>ragdoll316</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 11:40am<b>Anitlifegrand</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:35pm

kelserah's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of kelserah's badges

kelserah's favorite FMLs

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (9557)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29699) - you deserved it (4869)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (2205)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

#17148653
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (5146)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by twelfinity - United States (California)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (88410)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (3539)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (3855)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

#16951443
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (10591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7184)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

#16607799
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (7120)

On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61823) - you deserved it (9666)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (10873)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54714) - you deserved it (27486)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)



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